Walking Contradiction
by rebornandrenewed
Summary: [Bully] Bad luck seems to roll off Petey this day, and seems to explode on others. A bit stupid yes...


Title: Walking Contradiction

Rating: T

Warning: It's a parody of the song 'Walking Contradiction' by Green Day, but the car scene is the only one that makes this fic.

Disclaimer: I don't own the game or the song.

Summary: Bad luck seems to roll off Petey this day, and seems to explode on others.

A/N: I'm bored. Really bored… But on the other hand, I'm starting on the second chapter of 'Nobody likes a junior'.

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Petey woke up one particularly fine Monday morning with a smile on his face. He can't explain it, but he felt that this was going to be a great day. He shut the alarm clock off and grabbed his towel and bath things before heading out of the door for a shower.

Normally, he would wait until everyone was out of the fresher before going in himself, but he was feeling a bit confident today. He went in his usual cubicle, unwary of the tension between the two cliques he was bathing with today: the greasers and the preps.

Nothing bad happened so far, but when Petey was soaping his body, he accidentally squeezed his soap too hard and it flew up the partition of the cubicle, and landed with a soft thump on Johnny Vincent's head.

"Who threw that soap at me?" said Johnny, massaging the top of his head, clutching the accursed pink soap in his hand. In the cubicle right across him, the leader of the preps let out a snort. "Who would want to drop the soap in front of a pauper like you?" said Darby. "What did you say, Harrington?" snarled Johnny, letting the open shower behind him soak his back.

Darby turned around to face the angry greaser, an arrogant look plastered on his face. "I said that Lola cheating on you was very reasonable. I mean look at that, that's tinier than a matchbox!" sneered Darby, folding his arms across his wet chest. "You wouldn't know what big is, you little freak. Unless you've done Bif. Oh wait, you already have," replied Johnny, making the other greasers laugh.

Darby's eyes narrowed and said, "Take that back, you filthy scumbag." "And why should I, you inbred scumbag?" asked Johnny in his deadliest voice. "Because your mother blew my dad."

Johnny growled and tackled Darby, causing both of them to tumble into the cubicle Darby was using. When Parker went out of his own shower to help his boss, Peanut sent a fist flying to his face, making the black haired boy fall back into the running water behind him.

Within minutes, a full scale riot went inside the shower room, but miraculously, Petey was unable to notice this. While going back to the dressing area, he picked up the little pink soap that caused the riot in the first place. "There you are," said Petey, smiling. He exited the fresher after that, leaving the wet and naked clique members behind to slip and trip while trying to punch each others lights out.

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The bullies were doing detention just outside the boy's dorm. Apparently, Tom and Troy had smashed the new broom shed beside the football field. They could've gotten away too, if the sledgehammer they used to smash it hasn't landed on the prefects foot. As a punishment, they were to build a new one and carry it all the way to the football field.

A long and dangerous looking plank was atop Tom's shoulder, while Tom was carrying a frail looking hammer. Petey walked out of the dorm and ignored the bullies arguing. He noticed that one of his shoelaces was untied. He bent down to tie it just in time, for the plank Tom was carrying swung over his head, missing him by inches.

He stood up and continued to walk, only to spot a hundred dollar bill on the cement below. "Hey cool money!" Petey exclaimed and bent down to pick it up. Once again, he was lucky, for the head of the hammer Troy was using flew off the handle as he swung it.

He straightened himself up, grinning as he went, completely unaware of his luck.

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Petey's amazing luck followed him all day. He didn't get hit by the chemical that exploded in chemistry (Dan got a face full instead), he was the only one who walked away unscathed from the food fight in the cafeteria (which was unknowingly caused by him when he accidentally flung pudding on Gord Vendrome's shirt, and thought that it was thrown by the nerd in the next table), and his P.E. class was cancelled, thanks to the fact that the sprinklers in the whole academics department wont turn off.

He decided to go to the City Hall so that he could relax on the benches (and soothe his nerves, since he wanted to ask Jimmy for dinner in the Old Bullworth Gardens). What he didn't know was that the drivers that would pass him that afternoon would be severely P.O.

The stoplight was red for the cars, meaning that Petey could cross the street. He hopped off the sidewalk and went to the other side, swinging the picnic basket he was carrying to the beat of whatever he was listening to in his new mp3. And that's why he couldn't hear the angry shouts and car horns around him. He also didn't see them swerving around him, and he didn't even notice the big pile-up of cars by the gas station when he was seated on one of the benches on the lawn across the city hall.

"Whoah… Nice one, Petey…" whistled Jimmy, emerging from the statue behind Petey. When he didn't reply, Jimmy replied him on his head and said, "Earth to Petey. You just caused a major traffic accident."

Petey took pf his earphones and looked at the other boy. "Oh, hi Jimmy. Did you say something?" asked Petey. Jimmy rolled his eyes and said, "Nothing." He noticed the picnic basket beside the shorter boy and said, "What's with the food?"

Petey blushed and awkwardly replied, "I was uh… Going to ask you to a… err… picnic in the… Old Bullworth Gardens…" Jimmy shrugged and said, "Wherever free food is, I'm there. Just as long as it's not Edna's." Petey's face brightened up. "You'd really go with me?" he asked again, wanting to pinch himself. "Uh, duh. Let me grab my bike first," said Jimmy.

When they finally got on Jimmy's red BMX, they cycled past the car wreckage and Petey wondered out loud, "How'd that happen?"

As they went over the bridge connecting Bullworth town to the Vale, the pile of cars exploded. Amazingly, the gas station didn't implode with it, and there were no casualties.


End file.
